The Waddle

Everyone likes to joke about the super pregnant woman waddle. I get asked that all the time by people: "so have you started waddling yet?" giggle, giggle. Or Chris will say, "hey! could you waddle a little faster?" (I'm a really slow walker, so you can imagine the speed that I waddle). And it's all very funny, ha-ha-ha, I can laugh about it too. However, I feel obligated, on behalf of pregnant women everywhere who get made fun of for waddling, to explain what the pregnancy waddle really is. Most people seem to think that pregnant women waddle because such a big stomach throws them off balance or that they're struggling to walk under the weight of it. And, it's true, that's part of the waddle. But really, the greater part of the waddle is actually a limp. Yes, a limp. Like how you walk when you're injured. And that waddle-like limp is the result of one, all, or any combination of the following contributors:

1.) Sciatica- so you've got a sharp, shooting pain on one side of your body from the knee cap going all the way up your back, especially painful around the hip/buttocks area.

2.) Water Retention- you're feet are swollen, which means they don't fit in your shoes very well, which means you're probably walking around with your toes curled at the end and your shoes cutting into your heels and the top of your foot. Also, your ankles are swollen. Which means the joint isn't bending very well.

3.)Typical lower back/hip pain- pretty much what it sounds like. Everything hurts. Badly.

4.)Baby is moving- and I swear you can actually feel your hips moving making room for the baby. And that's no walk in the park, much less a waddle!

And besides all of this, your clothes are fitting horribly-- the shirts are coming untucked and the pants are in constant need of readjustment. So really, taking all of this into consideration, can you really blame a woman for waddling? And can you really still watch one of us do it and think it's cute and giggle about it? Or worse, actually judge a woman for doing it? Just food for thought. And if you see me out and about doing the waddle, just spare me and go find me a wheelchair. That's really all I need.