Halloween has already been so much fun this year! We decided to dress Emma as Cinderella, because her "regular" Cinderella dress had been worn to tatters, so we thought buying it as a Halloween costume would be a good opportunity to replace her beloved dress up clothes.
She has been very, very, very patient waiting for it to be Halloween so she can wear her new Cinderella dress. And believe me, waiting for it looked like no small feat!
As I dressed her tonight (even putting on a little make up), getting ready for the ward's Trunk or Treat, she would exclaim every so often, "Oh, Mom! I just love you!"
I had no intentions of dressing up or decorating our car until this morning, when the Halloween bug finally bit me and I decided that I wanted to dress up and create a Haunted Sweet Shop in our trunk! We spent allllllll day shopping, cutting out freezer paper, painting, tying ribbons, filling apothecary jars with candy, printing spooky labels, and even making chocolate bones.
I actually really love how my costume turned out (despite the fact it's off centered):
(I have a cupcake in my belly? And a Haunted Sweet Shop in my trunk. Get it?)
The car turned out awesome, but the kids came at me so quickly-- the whole thing was over in 10 minutes! I barely had time to set up, much less snap a decent picture. But just to give you an idea (seriously, there was a lot more to it than this!!!), here's a photo Elizabeth took before I set up and one of my black candy apples from prep during the day:
We had a lot of fun :) And I know Emma's looking forward to the next TWO times she gets to go Trick or Treating in the next two days!!
I have mentioned several times on this blog and on Something Swanky that Emma has struggled with speech and communication delays. Consequently, I get a lot of questions from friends and readers about what we've been doing to work on it and if we've found any success.
So I thought I'd jot down a few notes here for my friends to read about our experience with all of this, and hopefully someone will find it helpful! (And for anyone who doesn't have a personal concern with this, it'll just be a nice update on Emma's progress ;)
Somewhere between 12-18 months my mom started expressing a concern that Emma didn't engage very well with other people. That was our first red flag.
At her 18 month appointment, her doctor affirmed the concern and referred us to our local Early Childhood Development Services (RAISE). When we started with RAISE, Emma's only form of communication was coming to take my hand and pulling me to her point of interest (a toy, the TV, the refrigerator for food or drink, etc...). She didn't make many sounds outside of crying and laughing. She was often too distracted by her surroundings to focus on a person.
(At this point, we had Emma's hearing tested and everything checked out as normal)
RAISE started speech services right away. It was slow (if any) progress for about 4 months. When I expressed frustration about this, our service coordinator suggested we bring on another counselor who could provide "communication"/behavioral therapy. Apparently there's a difference between speech and communication-- I had no idea.
The object of communication therapy was to elicit ANY form of verbal or physical communication from Emma. Our job was to make sure that she understood that communication (be it grunts, whines, gesturing, or signs) would result in us giving her attention.
This part was a ton of work. Because Emma was, in general, a pretty content toddler. She didn't ask for much. So we had to find ways to create needs and wants by putting her toys away up high, not giving her a drink or utensils with her meal, not taking her out of the bath right away when the water was gone, not picking her up out of the crib when we walked in the room in the morning, etc... we had to "deprive" her of things so that she would ask for us to fulfill the needs. Sometimes she would be confused (or just not care) and wouldn't respond. So we would have to act out what we expected her to do (for example, Chris might ask for a drink-- using sign and words-- at dinner, and I would respond to him first when he asked, hopefully prompting Emma to copy him).
As Emma caught on to this system, we were able to introduce more "sophisticated" forms of communication, like sign. Signing Time (which teaches ASL in conjunction with speech) was possibly the most instrumental tool in the process for us. The shows do a FABULOUS job of repeating language over and over again, as well as provide a physical action to go with the word (super helpful to a child like Emma whose motor skills were much more developed than her communication skills). And we absolutely found that the speech developed right along with the signs. Having the signs in addition to the words simply gave her an added confidence that we would understand what she was trying to tell us and in no way stunted her speech development.
If I could only make one suggestion to parents who are trying to help their child with a speech delay, it would absolutely be recommending the Signing Time videos. We'll be starting our next child on Signing Time first thing!
Once we had the foundation of sign and about 50-80 solid words, we were able to start up with speech therapy again, and we alternated speech therapy with communication therapy weekly for the rest of our time with RAISE.
Some of the things we've found productive in working with Emma have been:
Commanding eye contact. She's in a constant state of distraction, so we try to always kneel down to her level and make sure we make eye contact. Sometimes I would put both of her hands on my face. It was a way to physically command her attention, and it worked well for along time. Nowadays, I have to put my hands on her face and turn it towards me if she won't look at me.
Making sure there was a "reward" for correctly giving or asking for attention. We do a lot of tickles, high fives, and big hugs. Sometimes we call for her attention and then just give her tickles and hugs. It's supposed to demonstrate that I'm not always putting a demand on her when I say her name-- which is supposed to help her respond to me when I do put a demand on her.
Working with her on her terms... but still slipping in what we needed her to learn. For example, Emma L-O-V-E-S colors. For many, many months, the primary topic of all therapy sessions was the color of things. And we would slowly incorporate other words and concepts. Like... opposites. We would say "Oh, this BLUE dot is up high. And this BLUE dot is down low." Or when she was really into animals, we learned "big" and "little" by calling everything "mama" or "baby," because that's how she identified animals. One time, I just tried teaching her "big" and "little" without any disguise, and she actually said "no opposites, Mom." That's when I knew... she's smart-- and she's super stubborn.
Repeating everything she says... but correctly. Even if I'm just guessing at what she's saying, and even if I'm not even right. The therapists both said it was beneficial to repeat anything she said correctly and emphatically. This way, she either heard the correct way to say what she was trying to say, or she could have the opportunity to disagree with me (verbally hopefully) if I was incorrect in guessing what she said.
Role playing. We do a TON of role playing. If we think she's trying to express something, or if we want her to express something, Chris and I will act it out. We used to do it with basic things like, "can I have a cracker? -- Yes, Dad, you can have a cracker." or "I want that toy. -- Okay, Dad, here's the toy." But now we even do it to show her manners or how to control her emotions by expressing with words. If she's upset that I'm not giving her a cookie (for no other reason than I don't want her to eat a cookie), we try to turn it into a speech lesson to end the tantrum (it's a way for us to give in but without her knowing we're giving in-- it just looks like we were trying to teach her a lesson from the start). So Chris will say, "Mom, can I have a cookie please?" And Emma thinks we're just trying to teach her to say "please," so she mimics him and I give her a cookie. Double whammy: she learns some speech and manners, and it doesn't look like we're rewarding the tantrum. It looks like we're rewarding speech and emotion control.
As we've done all these things (and instructed EVERYONE she interacts with to do the same), we've seen a TON of progress.
She still needs a lot of speech therapy, but at this point it's mostly to just to work on HOW she says the words. But to anyone who can understand her language, she's speaking in full sentences, and even using some pretty big words. She's learned most of the alphabet, and most of the numbers 1-10 (anyone with a speech/communication delayed kid will understand what a feat that is).
Some of our favorite recent sentences have been,
"Dad, this is the best movie EVER!"
"MMMM-mmmm, this is DELICIOUS!"
"Hey look! It's a Chrysalis!" (Thanks to Dinosaur Train for that one)
"Mom, this needs more sugar."
"Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! I love the Target store! Oh, yeah!"
"Oh, L is soooooooo beautiful."
"My haircut is so beautiful."
"I'm a pretty princess."
Of course, we're still working through some issues. She's developed certain habits and sentences as distress coping methods, and we still haven't deciphered some of them. Like...
"I heard sound!" She says this a lot when she's extremely upset. We have no idea why.
or... "my tummy hurts." We think she's just learned that this gets a fast response from us, and uses it to get attention when she doesn't know how to express what the actual problem is.
She's also started asking for a blanket when she's in distress, but I think what she really wants is some sort of pressure on her skin, because she'll accept anything that we can lay on top of her-- a pillow, a jacket, a towel... This is some sort of sensory issue, and we haven't really identified how to work through it with speech.
Anyway. That's where we are! We had to end RAISE services on her third birthday, because that's the age limit. But she'll begin Speech services through the public school system in the next week or so.
We're very proud of the progress she's made, and we appreciate being able to communicate with her even more for going through this challenge with her. One of the great joys in our every day is getting to hear the thoughts going through her mind :)
We had an eventful weekend this last week. It was our 7th anniversary (can't believe it's already been that long), and Ashton's birthday. We made our way up to Washington DC and got to spend a little bit of time at the temple.
One of Emma's favorite songs to sing at night is "I Love to See the Temple." So we were really excited to take her up there. We built up going to the temple so much that when we pulled into the parking lot she said, "WOW!" We are trying to teach her that the temple should be her goal, so that was very rewarding.
After the temple, we had to run to the Nationals games against the Mets. We were all ready to show our support for the home team. Lucky for us they didn't disappoint. Bryce Harper had a great game, hitting a home run with an RBI and another base hit.
As you can tell, we had amazing seats. Thanks for that Mom! It was a great birthday present.
Look who we found at the game...
We got rained out in the 9th but still got a win. Even Emma had a great time.
The next day was our anniversary, and we went to (what ended up being) our three favorite places.
First off, we got to see my little brother, Jacob, who is stationed in DC. He had passed his last test for the Honor Guard in the Air Force the day before we arrived. To celebrate we went to a place called GBD (short for Golden Brown and Delicious), and it was amazing. Ashton and I got fried chicken and waffles with a sampling of other doughnuts. We will defiantly be going back our next trip.
Next up, we went to the National Aquarium in Baltimore. This place was great. We got to see a dolphin show and a really cool jelly fish exhibit.
Emma got to see the sharks. She was really scared of them at first, but by the end of the trip she loved them.
She showed her three year old colors and threw a fit when we told her we had to leave. Lucky for us we were on our way to get some amazing pie and used that to bribe her good behavior.
This was a big one for us. Ashton and I have wanted to visit Dangerously Delicious Pies for about 4 years. It was nice getting to check this place off our list. It did not disappoint.
Emma's (aka Dad's) strawberry pie...
Pulled Pork Pie with slaw,
This is the main event right here. THE Baltimore Bomb Pie
Visiting the Lincoln memorial was one of my favorite things that we did. I really loved getting to see the monument dedicated to one of the most important men in the history of our country. I got a little emotional just seeing this place.
This is our favorite kind of little girl: tired from a day full of fun activities.
The next day was the most important day of the weekend... Ashton's birthday always starts off with doughnuts. Our favorite was the top left one: pistachio.
We have been watching a lot of West Wing lately, and we wanted to live a day in the life of Sam, Toby, and Josh. However, being tourists, we spent a lot of time being lost. I spent more time looking down at this thing then a lot of the sites.
Here at the White House we felt like we were basically members of the West Wing. Just waiting for Pres. Bartlet to come and see us.
Next was another visit to Dangerously Delicious Pies, this time the DC location. It was good but not amazing like the Baltimore location.
Since it was still Ashton's day we spent a lot of time in Georgetown (clearly known for its shopping). Walking from store to store made Emma and I little more than tired. Ice cream at Serendipity made up for it.